My sobriety journey has been a marathon, instead of a sprint.
I attempted to get sober three different times before I finally “got it.” And it wasn't until I started to develop healthy spiritual practices or “habits” that slowly became routine and natural.
This has been true for me with other journeys, like yoga.
At times, I get asked how long I've been handstanding or doing yoga (I usually get asked this when I get caught doing an advanced asana) and I usually answer with “It’s a lot of practice and a lot of falling out- and getting back up.”
Through these journeys, I have fallen in love with the practice/process. And it's not all sunshine and rainbows. There's days that I just don't want to do it... like ANY of it.
But through determination, I realized that even my “off” days are still progress. I get to look back at my journey and realize that my “shitty days in sobriety” are still a blessing because at least I'm still sober. And once upon a time- that's all I ever wanted. To be able to draw a sober breath.
Having gratitude for my milestones are very important. And this is true in other areas in my life. Some days my handstand practice is just off, but I realize that I’m still getting some hang time and I'm still progressing compared to when I first started the physical practice of yoga. When I couldn't even hold a crow pose.
I guess I’m saying all of this to say that, it's the little things. The countless drills, the countless mini spiritual epiphanies in my recovery journey, the struggle, the “failures”. ALL of it is part of the process.
So if you're venturing through a new journey, remember that this is not an overnight matter. You have to learn how to celebrate the mini victories and have gratitude for them.